By Hannah Jackson-McCamley, who works as a funeral celebrant in London
When someone we love dies, our world can feel like it’s been turned upside down. To experience a death when the world actually is upside down is more fraught, confusing and scary. Yet amidst all the madness, I have witnessed more kindness, resilience and compassion than ever before.
Funerals are now very restrictive with fewer people allowed to attend, sometimes no flowers available, not even a picture on the catafalque. It’s awful to have to say “no” to the smallest request. Yet people have shown unbelievable gratitude for the simplest things - a recorded tribute by someone not there, holding a picture brought from home, wearing a piece of their loved ones clothing or even knowing that a candle is being lit that night in their memory.
It’s made many realise the most important aspects of a funeral: not excessive flowers or expensive hearses... but the acknowledgement of grief, a space to pay tribute to the person that has lived and to ensure that the person that has died is not simply a statistic. Holding space doesn’t have to be in a chapel or crematorium - solidarity can be shown online, on the phone and even in simple, private gestures.
I’ve been struck how many people touched by the tragic consequences of Covid19 have thought of others before themselves by setting up fundraising pages and doing donation drives. It is as if the forced distancing has liberated a sense of humanity, kindness and unity like never before.
Though this is a highly fraught time, everyone is trying their best. Empathy, compassion and flexibility are key to all involved in funerals and despite the pressures, it is more important now than ever, for grief to be acknowledged, understood and respected.
About Hannah Jackson-Mccamley
Hannah’s father died at her home on Boxing Day 2007 when she was 24. After a varied career in advertising and fashion as well as an involvement with Crisis and St Mungo’s, she became a funeral celebrant in 2018 following the death of her father-in-law. Her experience and love of music and literature informs her work. Hannah hosts the Chiswick Death Cafe and lives in West London with her husband and dog.
You can follow Hannah on Facebook and Instagram.
www.hannahthecelebrant.com
