By Fefy, whose boyfriend was murdered in Los Angeles in January 2020
Death is painful - it leaves you in a state of shock which is immediately turned into a pain nothing could prepare you for. You feel completely empty, you cry uncontrollably, and you constantly ask yourself why and how this could happen. You throw in the word murder and the thought of someone taking your person pains you even more.
Bad things happen to good people – I always told Jon that good things happen to good people. I would tell him that we would be blessed for always taking people into our home. Jon had a huge heart, he took family and friends in, fed them, bought them clothes and did anything he could to help those around him. Yet he was still murdered in such a brutal way. Now I understand that bad things happen to good people.
People will judge the way you grieve – don’t let it get to you and continue to grieve how you see fit. Unfortunately, those who have never lost anyone will not understand what you are going through. Also, remember that every relationship is different and it’s ok to grieve differently from other family members and friends.
Losing a loved one shows you who you can count on. Since Jon’s transition I have learned who I can count on. A lot of them are family and friends that I have known for years, but there are also many who I never expected to be so supportive. It has been such a sweet surprise that these people are there for me, from coworkers to new friends and all in between. Death is such a hard topic, and many may find it hard to approach you especially when it deals with murder. Try not to feel bad if people avoid you or avoid bringing up your loved one, teaching people how to deal with death is something our society lacks.
Losing Jon has taught me how strong I can be . Don’t get me wrong, there are days where I do not feel strong and that is okay, it is important to give yourself the space to not feel strong and to completely breakdown. However, you will have all the pieces needed to rebuild yourself. You will not be the same, but you will rebuild because unfortunately, you have no other option but to keep going. I also feel extremely grateful that I do not have any regrets and I know that’s been a big part in my healing process which I acknowledge and do not take for granted. As time goes by, I’ve realized that I want to live for Jon and accomplish everything he could not. That is how I choose to honor My Jon.
About Jonathan Lloyd McLinn
Jonathan was born on December 27, 1989. He was known as Jon to his family and friends and was 30 years old at the time of his death. He was a talented and successful barber who dreamt of opening barbershops and fitness gyms throughout Los Angeles. He loved playing basketball and was a huge Laker and Kobe fan. Jon and his girlfriend Fefy were working on opening their first barbershop in March 2020.
Jonathan was brutally killed on January 31, 2020. He was shot at 12 times at close-range including three gunshot wounds to the head. Jonathan, the shooter, and driver were talking near the driver’s car. It’s still unclear what led to the defendant shooting Jonathan. He did not know the shooter or driver prior to the killing.
Due to laws passed by DA George Gascon, the prosecution cannot present the gang and gun enhancements which means Jonathan’s killer could serve as little as 15 years. Someone who kills so easily and brutally deserves more years and therefore his family and friends are petitioning for the enhancements to be presented during the case.
Jonathan’s mother and girlfriend were warned during the pre-trial regarding the pictures and video because the killing was so brutal. Even the detective homicides who have done this for years were impacted by the way Jonathan was murdered. The driver will get off on probation, although it’s not fair, we are putting all efforts into making sure the killer pays.
www.jonmclinn.com
