By Chloe Bay, whose father died when she was 17
1. You never expect to lose someone. My dad died three weeks before my high school graduation, while I was on my senior trip abroad in Europe. I hadn’t talked to him for seven months when he died. I thought I had 40 more years with him.
2. I don’t mourn my father; I mourn the thought of him. The thought of making up with him and the thought or the relationship we COULD have had.
3. Death glorifies the person who has died. Sometimes when I’m sad I have to think back to all the ways he wronged me and was completely absent throughout my childhood. Every soccer game missed, graduations and banquets. Although I miss my parent, I don’t miss the parent he was to me.
4. Never will I wish death or hate on anyone ever again. I said countless times ‘I wish he would just die’ to justify the ways he hurt me, but when the day came that he died, it was the saddest day of my life. The guilt of saying I wish he was dead still eats me alive.
5. YES, THIS IS A VALID EXCUSE. Not even three months after my dad died someone told me ‘that can’t be your excuse for everything’. Yes it can and it will be. I have a grieving pass so let me be.
Chloe Bay with her father at Christmas
About Chloe Bay
Chloe’s father died of undetected Stage 4 Metastatic Lung cancer in 2019. She believes he was a good person but was lost in a life of addiction. Chloe is 18 and a college student in Pennsylvania studying Special Education and English. You can follow Chloe on Instagram.
