Baby loss, in all its forms, is shit. I’m yet to find a better word to summarise it. It’s simply, just shit. And there is no need to polish that.
Baby loss doesn’t discriminate, nor can it be explained away with logic, faith or platitudes. It is possible to sometimes find reasons for how a baby dies, but not why a baby dies. Those are two different things.
Baby loss weaves its way into everything. It’s constantly in your self talk. It shapes your decisions in life. It alters every single relationship you have. It changes the way you communicate, think and act. It impacts, positively and negatively, every single day.
Baby loss is not a single story. It’s is an umbrella term for a million and one different stories, from different family types, with different backgrounds, futures and experiences. There is no one size fits all way for society or services to support families. However, each story always deserves respect, empathy and care.
If you allow yourself, you can meet the most gentle, warm and welcoming group of fellow parents who will beautifully and honestly speak to you like no one else ever can. There’s an acceptance and ease with these people that’s like nothing else after your child has died. And that is where hope lives.
About Jess Clasby-Monk
Jess is wife to Natalie and mother to two children. She blogs as The Legacy of Leo, sharing life after the loss of her first son, Leo Phoenix. She also began a weekly twitter chat, #BabyLossHour, to create a safe space for those affected by or invested in all forms of baby loss.