1. If you spend five minutes thinking carefully about the person who has died, then these reflections can frame every decision that you make thereafter
2. The time before the funeral, not just the funeral itself, can be meaningful and therapeutic
3. You can be involved in deciding how and where someone is cared for after they have died
4. Money is important – you can talk about it and demand good value
5. Not all funeral directors offer the same support – look around and find one that you think will give you what you need
Sarah Jones is a funeral director and the founder of Full Circle Funerals, an award winning funeral home in Leeds. She previously worked as a doctor and then with adults with learning difficulties. She has a husband and two young children and enjoys exploring on foot and bicycle. She believes ardently that we would all benefit from speaking about death and dying more openly so that we are better able to support ourselves and our loved ones in life and death. She’s written a book about funerals called Funerals Your Way.