1. Don’t wait until you really need a funeral director to choose one. Talking to one in advance won’t hasten someone’s death. Instead it means you’ll be prepared and will have found the right funeral director for you.
2. Brilliant funeral directors empower you to do things your way. There is no right or wrong way. You can have a funeral in your back garden or a funeral in Westminster Abbey. Do whatever you want.
3. Some people can have a really good death and others, not even close. Some live to a ripe old age and have lived a thousand lifetimes in one. Others die way too soon. Either way, it never feels fair when someone dies.
4. Grief absolutely fucking sucks. It’s an utter, utter bastard and it just isn’t fair. We know this. We get this. We know what it is like to be angry over the unfairness of it all and cry at the smallest thing.
5. It is so important to make sure your affairs are in order. Wills are great but often don’t get read until after a funeral. Been with your partner for 20 years and didn’t get married? Do it. It saves so much hassle. If you have complicated family dynamics, see a solicitor. Some of the loveliest people are surrounded by ugliness when they die because nothing was written down.
Lucy Coulbert is a funeral director and the managing director of the Individual Funeral Company in Oxford, an independent, award-winning family funeral directors specialising in traditional and bespoke funerals.
@IndivFunerals