1. Not all cancers are curable. Research is getting better but from the moment my mum was diagnosed with a ‘glioblastoma multiforme’ brain cancer, she was given palliative care.
2. The human spirit is something to be in awe of. My mum's hope and determination to live shone so bright that new doctors and consultants would ask ‘does she know she's dying?’. She did know but admitting it was the ultimate defeat in her eyes.
3. When someone is going through this journey, you will find a dark humour in some dark moments. It will shock you but you will need the moments of relief that a real bellyache of a laugh provides.
4. The guilt in being relieved that someone close to you has died will cut you up. The feeling of relief after mum died really hurt me, even saying the words ‘it was for the best’ to people at the wake. It wasn’t the best for any of us. She didn’t want to leave and we didn’t want her to go.
5. You will be reminded of your loved one it the most unusual of ways. I sometimes catch a glimpse of one of my daughters in the way they move or talk and see mum in them. A whiff of perfume from a passer-by or a song unexpectedly coming on the radio, and I know she's on this journey with me.
About Nicola Baldrick
Nicola blogs about her family life on a farm with her six children, and her journey with grief after her mum died last year at the age of 55. Her dad died just ten weeks later. She writes about her day-to-day life with her husband Shaun and their six children, as well as how grief affects her life. Nicola has found that blogging has really helped her to deal with how she feels.